You know, the Brokenness is HUGE. The Holy Spirit led me to Genisis last night, as I was thinking of my friend, who is grieving the loss of her baby daughter, and hurting for her again. I read the Creation Story, about the amazingness of the intensely beautiful and tenderhearted God-fashioned creation. He made MAN (which is amazing in itself)....then He made a woman for him, and was pleased at the delight they found in each other. "Be fruitful!" He told them....have sex, make babies, enjoy the incredible bounty of motherhood, fatherhood. He even put them in a place as amazingly beautiful as The REAL Garden of Eden, where He caused food to grow for them so they wouldn't have to do anything but just revel in each other and their Breathtakingly Beautiful Children. Think about it. Right?
So, He invented and created this beautiful thing called Relationship. He invented children and motherhood and fatherhood. The intense tenderness and attachment we have for our children is God-breathed. He did all that, and then made SURE we would just have mostly that to do...since there was no WORK! :) I love that...pure, unadulterated enjoyment of Family. (and the Creation, of course.)
Then, in a *moment*........disobedience. CRASH, SMASH................Brokenness. The precious relationships were broken and shattered at their core. Death was the final punishment. SMASH, CRASH.....ripped apart from our loved ones.....emnity between husband and wife replace the perfect unity and love. Futility and strife in parenthood ("greatly increase your conception and pain in childbirth") replace the tender enjoyment....the frustration of being a mother of willful children was born. Adam, the father, was now cursed with the ever-present frustration of having the mission to just feed his frikkin' family. No satisfaction or passion in work, now...just sweat and making food happen. Unfulfillment at every turn, misunderstanding and hurt form between the World's First Lovers...... brokenness. The perfection of relationships between all family was now broken and futile...and ends in death.
What a gut-wrenchingly sad picture. How we deal with it every day....some more than others. My friend has been cruelly ripped apart from her precious daughter by Death, because of this curse. Because of this Curse, bit by bit over the years, the Love of my life, who so fulfilled and excited me, who holds my heart in his hands, has been held back from me, tearing me away from my heart, leaving me with an iced-over version of our love....what it "would be" like. I have had to fight so hard for my marriage over the years that I forget what it feels like to just be in love. The pure joys of motherhood have been soured for me by missing the father of my children. All because of the Curse. The explanation for death--physical, emotional, psychological....and for broken relationships.....can be found in Genesis.
I am so familiar with this Curse. I experience it every day. I am a wounded, broken person. I live in a world that is twisted and filled with broken people. The most tender beauties in my life, my darling children, are a source of frustration to me....and that is because of the Curse.
There has been a Redemption.
The God Who wept over the Brokenness (that is so REAL to me) planned a Plan. He provided a Cleansing. We all know about this...we know what This is.
Think about it a moment, meditate on what God did with His Only Begotten Son. He planned it out....He made Redemption happen, and caused the Curse, the Horrible, Bitter Curse of Brokenness......to DIE.
Where is that Cure? Where is that sweet water, that healing stream.....that redemption in my life? The Curse--I know Its power. I feel it at every turn. I feel the pang of death and sadness and unfulfillment. I have many words to describe That. But this Redemption....if it was so powerful it conquered the Curse....then where is its power in my life? I want to feel it, to let it wash over me, to live in it. I want the Redemption to BE the power in me that OVERCOMES the Curse. I know for sure that I live in a cursed world....but actually, I live in a redeemed world! What is up with that?! REDEEMED! Bought back! Purchased out from under the CURSE!
I'll put it plainly: I want to live completely out from under the power of 1.Sadness 2. Unfulfillment 3. Guilt 4. Pain 5. Misunderstanding 6. Hurt 7. Frustration 8. Fear 9. .....well, the list goes on and on.
So, this is my prayer for now:
God, I know and accept your plan for the salvation of my soul. This I am familiar with. But, this world still reeks of the Curse. It has penetrated my family. MY relationships are broken. Where is the power of this Awesome Redemption? I want to take hold of it and let it rule over my entire life. Give me that power, Lord Jesus! Amen.