Either I have way more stuff to accomplish than most people, or my mental faculties are way below average, or everyone else is as miserable and crazy as I am. I'm here to ask for an evaluation from my friends, and for your sakes, I hope it's not the third thing.
I'm just wondering if anyone else struggles like this. I'm wondering aloud.....because in times like these a girl needs to hear other people's lives are as crazy as hers is, in hopes that she's not either fit for the psych ward, or just plain SLOW IN THE HEAD.
So, I feel like I have a lot to do......but when I tried to list the things I was so busy with this week to a friend the other day, I could only come up with about 4 things I did all week. Let me try to accurately describe our summer activities. We're doing some planning (cross-country move, Deployment, 2-week vacation) and some packing, and just everyday life. Every day I make a list of several things from the Pack, Move, & Vacation list, but it's gotten so bad that I feel pretty good if I get just ONE thing done.
I tried to take a closer look at my day-to-day life to see what was holding me up from just "getting stuff done" by the end of the week. Today, Monday, seemed like a great day to start!
Here's how my day was planned: Arise, breakfast, gymnastics, lunch, leisurely afternoon to accomplish some PM& V stuff. Instead, it went like this: I woke up too early, felt terrible. I told Violet to play in her room for 40 minutes to catch a few more winks. Too hot. We both got up by 7:30. Hello, arthiritic hands. Hello, messy, messy Violet's room. Good morning to Ben, for whom I made coffee and sliced fruit. Check email. Find a threatening letter from a horrible eBayer I've been dealing with for 2 weeks, which makes me furious, so I immediately respond. I kiss Ben goodbye, fearing I've put our account in grave danger. Now, with the accusations of being a liar and a thief ringing in my head, I search HIGH and LOW for the leotard to dress Violet for gymnastics. It's not where it should be......it's in the depths of the van where it was tossed last Monday during our emergency pee-in-the-bushes incident during negotiation with a person who rear-ended us. Whole Other Story. I finally find it, and we dash off LATE, with an extra errand (mail a package) thanks to the Horrible EBay Person to do before gymnastics. We arrive late to gymnastics, and it's HOTTTT. There's no a/c in this state, not even in a gymnasium. I realize my phone is malfunctioning, and I've missed a call from Ben 2 hours ago, needing some info from home....which I don't have.....and I call him back to tell him that and then dash back to the Mommy and Me class.
We finish up class with a meltdown from Violet. She falls on her wrist, hurts herself, and screams all the way out to the car. (This, after I've assured the teacher she's ready for the 3-year-old class). All the way home, it's, "Mooommy?" "Mooooomy!" from the back.....and this continues all afternoon. I think she gets this way when I get stressed. She's just wanting affirmation from me.......but it actually makes everything worse. She doesn't care if I answer or not. In fact, whenever I say, "What?" or "Violet..." she just continues with, "Moooomy? Moooooomeee!" So I try to ignore it.
On the way home, we get stopped at the Main Post Gate for a random vehicle check. Random. Huh. I have to declare the presence of Ben's gun, and make sure all that's on the "up-and-up." I think it surprised the guards that it was actually stored properly. Still, I was trembling....we had a shooting at the PX last week, and the MP's are pretty cranky. 5 of them stood around me talking about whether it was legit. I called Ben to let him know we'd miss him for lunch, which I'd planned would be yummy roast beef sandwiches, and basically hung up on him, because I was getting questioned by the guards.
When I got home, he crankily admitted to me he'd locked himself out of the house. I let him in, and he flew to collect his gear, and I stuffed a PB&J in his mouth as he ran out the door to his motorcycle safety class. Family Lunchtime=Failure.
I decide it's a good time to cool off, being that it's past 90 degrees...so I go into the back yard to fill up the pool. Did it rain? Why is the porch all wet? Oh. It's because I left the hose on all night. The yard is like a sponge......a wet one..... Moving on from thoughts of the massive electric/water bill this month.....I plop Violet in the pool and hope for respite to gather my thoughts about what to get done this afternoon. I am interrupted by "Moooomy! Hafta go pooootty!" We go....and I swallow a huge lump in my throat as I see freshly-cut grass stuck to wet feet scatter as she runs across the carpet to the bathroom. *Ching* "Vacuum carpet" is added to the list alongside "clean up Violet's room," and "fix dinner," and "laundry." This happens again 5 minutes later. "Mooooomy, Hafta go potty!!" We troop across the carpet again, scattering more grass ......again I swallow, trying not to imagine my afternoon getting swept up into the Black Hole of Housework.
*SIGH* Why is it so hard? I can manage a list....I CAN just "get stuff done." It's the 99 other interminable things like bottom-wiping, sheet-changing, grass-vacuuming, mess-cleaning, tear-dabbing, story-reading, husband's-shoes-picking-up, meal-cooking, kitchen-cleaning, and clothes-putting-away that I can't seem to get the hang of. It's like I'm 2 people, living 2 simultaneous lives. I'm the maid, picking up, cleaning up, fixing, cooking, and wiping.....and I'm the Wife and Mom, loving, nurturing, teaching, being the companion, planning, and accomplishing helpful things for Ben. Golly, that almost sounds like THREE people!!!
The other day Ben took Violet from me for about 40 minutes to go on an errand. While he was gone, I 1. whipped up a dessert 2. cleaned up the kitchen 3. made dinner 4. emptied the dishwasher 5. picked up the whole downstairs 6. started a load of laundry 7. folded what was in the dryer 8. was leisurely browsing the internet when he got home with her.
So I've still GOT IT! I just can't tap into that Super Woman within me when my daughter and husband are around. Great.