Friday, October 9, 2009

Preggo Post

Well, this is just a kind of glorified status update for all y'all who've been phoning my sister (LOL) to ask her how I'm doing! :D

Truthfully, this pregnancy has been mildly less difficult than the last. Last time, I threw up every single day until I was well into my 8th month. I suffered daily migraines from month 7-9, and had pretty intense rib/hip pains, too. This time around, by 7 1/2 weeks pregnant, I've only thrown up once, and had 3 migraines, and I'm running 2 miles twice a week and working on my core muscles to keep those rib pains to a minimum. The nausea is relentless, though, and my food preferences/cravings are utterly unpredictable, senseless, and difficult to get a handle on. I am struggling, honestly, right now, with balancing life with a toddler, a new home to settle into (you'd be amazed how long it takes to get the final boxes unpacked and stuff up on the walls!), getting food cooked, and appointments kept. I've missed 2 very important bills so far, and paid the price for them both.....and missed Violet's gymnastics for this semester......and *not* written many letters I should've written.....and obviously fallen behind on blogging......some days it feels like all I get done is a conversation (over the course of 4 hours, intermittently depending on connection and Ben's schedule) with my husband, and the dishwasher emptied. I'm lucky if I can stomach making Violet a PB&J for lunch, the closest thing to homemade food I can do at the moment. P.S. I haven't done my hair but twice since moving here September 19th.

On the other hand, my sister, Tess, has come up to visit, and has faithfully cooked and done dishes every meal for days, now, and lifted a huge burden off my shoulders. Not having to be in the kitchen is a really big blessing. She's also gotten some painting done, pictures up, and furniture rearranged. It's been great. However, my Violet has taken this opportunity to begin expressing her separation (from her Daddy) anxiety. She goes from intense playing to desperately wanting my attention, then back again to her very focused play (not involving me at all), and then demanding that I come "taste her milkshake" and "sit me and watch me" in the tub, and then dissolving into begging tears of, "Mommy, I neeeeeeed you!" at night when I put her to bed. I have spent upwards of 45 minutes just calming her into bed so that I can get up and leave without her clinging to my neck.

I'm frightened of what is appearing before me here.....before I even have the second child to care for! Two? Who can have TWO?! I wonder sometimes....

So, I feel half the burden is lifted, having such great help at home with daily tasks, but this new thing looming before me called, Mother of Two.....I just don't know. I'm not handling single mother of one very well right now.

I would love to hear what some of you mothers of two are thinking, reading my struggles. What are your methods of dealing with Household Stuff, and more than one child? Do your children cling to you? Do you play with them endlessly? Do you teach them to be alone? How do you get anything done? Please comment.


Seth and Karen's blog said...

Wow Susi, what a very humble and raw post of what you've been going through lately. My heart goes out to you. I appreciate the updates so I can keep you in my prayers. I can't even begin to imagine the emotional stress you have been going through - and that on little Violet as well. In some small ways I remember going through a few things. I constantly wondered how on earth I would handle a second child with my first being so demanding of my time and attention and how I could manage household responsibilities as well - all this with a very helpful husband who was home more than most! In some strange way, it seems like the first is the hardest - I think being your child's main playmate has a lot to do with it, plus with each child comes more experience - thankfully! I can't figure out if Michael is so much easier because of his personality or my experience, but I think it is a combination of both and I'm so thankful because I was really worried how I could handle three! Anyway, you and Denise are an incredible example to me of such strong, godly wives and mothers to have to go through such painfully long separations from your husbands. God bless you guys. I wish I could give you a hug right now and precious Violet. Katrina had such difficult times falling asleep without me, too. She still sometimes wants me to lie with her for a while or gets up in the middle of the night just to have me pray for her and put her back in bed with a kiss! If I remember anything I did that was helpful, I'll let you know. Love you!


Edith said...

Great to hear how you're doing.
I don't have advice other than to say take it each day at a time, keep praying and, as you're doing, don't be ashamed to lean on friends and family to help you out. My sister in law is due in Jan (her first) and hasn't been too well at all with frequent trips tp hospital. I've turned into a meals on wheels lady which is exhausting for me to be honest but I think I can deal with tiredness better than her at the moment. However it will all be worth it for both you and her (although personally I never want to make another lasagne again!).

Edith said...

By the way, I am a complete goose! I totally forgot to say CONGRATUATIONS on the old pregnancy news! How exciting!! So looking forward to being kept in the loop!
When are you due?

Denise said...

I'm finally commenting on this entry. It broke my heart, for many reasons, but I just know that the Lord loves you all and will give His hand of help and grace! I know so much of what you are experiencing is not anything you hoped or dreamed would come... and yet it's happening this way. There is a redemptive quality in that you are God's child and He will use this as a means of good in your life. But right now, it sounds overwhelming. I don't have any advice, except I do offer my consistent and faithful prayers for you 4... I love you guys!